Locking Eyes

I don’t know if you ever experienced that jolt when you look at someone for the first time and just connect. You know, like in films. I did. Once. And it’s glorious.

It was 7pm, I was going home from work, waiting for the subway train, reading a book while on the platform. I looked up to check the ETA of the train and when I skimmed the other side of the platform, I noticed someone looking at me and then it happened. I smiled, and he smiled back. The heart even warmed a bit.

We looked at each other and smiled at each other and we didn’t notice anyone else around us (even though the platforms were full). It was cute, it was sweet and felt like I was in some sort of film.

And then his train was announced. We could hear it over the intercom. We looked at each other, a little panicked and all I could think was “get your ass over here dammit!”.

His train pulled up and what do you know…he was gone. Life is not like films. He didn’t ran over, to ask for my phone number or anything, because most likely, in real life, people would tell you to f-off if you did it c:

Still, those were some nice 5 minutes right there, and for the next couple of days, you bet your ass I was looking for him at the stop =P

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Measurements 

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived this normal peasant girl. She wasn’t considered beautiful by that land’s standards per se, but not ugly either, she was a normal looking girl, not fat nor skinny, and her skin was not as milky as her parents wished, but that’s life I guess.

She was, however, an extraordinary person, because what most didn’t knew was her inner strength, and since things on the inside cannot be measured…

As plain and simple as she might have looked, there were those who saw her true self. One of these was a boy, a young boy, around her age, the miller’s son. Although he was quite good looking, most people avoided him for the fact he was always covered in flour.

He was, however, an extraordinary person, because he did all the work around that mill so that his old sick father could rest, and since things like that cannot be measured…

He owned a horse, a very plain looking horse with a limp that wasn’t good enough to labor. Most people told the boy to sell it, but he refused, giving him his own food if he had to just to keep it. Most people thought the boy was crazy, it was just a horse.

He was, however, an extraordinary horse, that had once saved the boy’s life by throwing himself in front of a loose wagon, which gave him the limp, and things like that cannot be measured…

But they can surely be felt!

Gaming

So one of my biggest passions is gaming!!!!

I play diverse video-games (mostly in the genre of RPG though I play others as well), but two have been the most present in my life: World of Warcraft, which I play (officially *coughs*) since mid 2006, and the Final Fantasy saga.

I’ll start with FF: the first time I came in contact with the saga was when I saw the FMV (Full Motion Video) screenshots of FFVIII on a gaming magazine on January 1999. I was 15. I fell in love. It was beautiful, it was glorious, and had to be mine.

ff8-1 ff8-2

The game had too much of a romantic plot, but at that age I was perfectly ok with that! =P
That was the first game I actually “played”, was with it that I started seeing myself as a gamer. After the first play-through, I did a second one to try to get every item, every sidequest done, every mini-game. I followed a walktrough, but only on my second+ tries: I don’t like when they spoil the game, so my first tries are always completely blind.

I then played FFVII, FFIX, FFX, FFX-2, FFXII and half of FFXIII (got a bit bored mid-game, so I picked FFXII again just for giggles). They have had a more futuristic look, medieval looks, steampunkish looks here and there, a mix of all, romantic plots, religious conspiracies and even political wars. They’ve had full bad-ass villains and shades of grey ones, awesome (and not so awesome) main characters and SUPER awesome secondary characters (oh Balthier)! And, on my part, I’ll keep on playing these games. Next I need to buy FFIV!!


Now World of Warcraft is a completely different monster. Unlike FF which is a single-player game, WoW is a massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG), which means a HUGE community of players. I have been playing the game for 9 years now and I have made a lot of friends from all over the World during those years. I still talk to people I met over 7 years ago. We play different factions now, but we still talk and it’s awesome. I unofficially already played the game before I officially did, when an ex of mine introduced me to a…ahem, private server. When I like something though, I gotta have it. That came true when I saw the first expansion cinematic – The Burning Crusade.

Two new races were added: The Draenei of the Alliance (the purple dude at the start) and the Blood Elves of the Horde (the one in the red dress), which are, of course, mortal enemies. Since I was Alliance, I rolled a very pretty Draenei Paladin (the class of the guy in the cinematic) and made my objective to get the same armour and mace that he was using – which I did and I still have them c:
I then turned to the dark side, so now, the same character, is now a Blood Elf of the Horde <3

Although she is my main achievement / mounts / pet gatherer, I no longer do end-game content with her, in the sense I don’t kill the hardest bad guys with her. That is a job for my other Belf, a Mage, which my guild group benefits most from. She’s in the featured image c:

Both of these sagas have something in common: a very VERY rich story and characters, and a lot of mini-games and stuff to collect on the side. There’s always something to do!

This all to say: I invest time and money (monthly subs) in these things, yes, for sure. But believe it or not they keep me sane. I rather kill characters in games than going ballistic in real-life =P
It’s an escape, like anything else.

Outside the Dashboard

So what do I do when I’m not writing? There are some things that I enjoy doing to “reset” my mind.

  1. If I’m feeling a bit lazier
    • Gaming: this is my biggest passion, has been my escape from reality for over 10 years, and we all need that escape sometimes.
    • Watching TV Shows / Films: I love doing these when I have the time. If it’s Fantasy / Sci-fi I’ll like it for sure. I’ve been watching the Marvel Cinematic Universe by order. It’s awesome!
    • Reading: another huge passion of mine. I read the last Harry Potter book in 1 day…well, 3 days, because when I got to a certain chapter I threw it across the room and refused to read it for 2 days! Right now I’m in the middle of (re-)reading the 4th book of A Song of Ice and Fire: A Feast for Crows so I can move on to the 5th one c:
      x
  2. If I actually feel like moving
    • Photography: I love LOVE taking pictures. I can go on for hours, specially if coupled with sightseeing. That or of my cat <3
    • Travelling / Sightseeing: soaking up new cultures or learnings new things about mine or even just revisiting old monuments, I just love it.
    • Pretending to sing: don’t ask. Really…just ignore this =P
    • Dance: good or bad, I don’t care. I just shake this ass of mine.
      x
  3. And if none of these work: cooking and eating (which for someone who is trying to lose weight and be healthier, can be bad…or not)!!!

And you!? What do you enjoy doing outside the dashboard?

Coffee Date

If we were having coffee right now I would tell you that I’m sorting my photographs from my last vacation. And boy, do I have a lot of them. I love photographing, and you? It’s such a way to keep your memories. And printing them. I love printed photographies, my printed memories…it’s different for me than the digital ones.

If we were having coffee right now I would tell you I’m old. I mean, I don’t feel old, but the job market does make me feel like it. “Job such such, with this much and much, for people below 35 years old”…BELOW 35? Really!? And this is why I need coffee. Loads and loads of coffee.

If we were having coffee right now I would tell you I’m dreading the future. It just seems so bleak right now. I’m afraid. I just wanna move away from here. My country is going to drown in this vicious circle that it’s in right now. And I’m afraid.

If we were having coffee right now I would probably need a drink to go with my coffee. A nice shot of whisky.

And you. What would you tell me if we were having coffee right this minute? 

 

Open Letter to a Bullied Person

Dear Bullied Person.

It’s not you, it’s them. It is not your fault.

I know it’s hard. It hurts. You go home and hide in your room, blast away music, hide yourself from the world and cry. You try to feel safe in this little space, make it yours, but you also shy away from everyone else.

Your parents will tell you it’s fine. That you should ignore them and they will eventually move on and stop picking on you. This isn’t always the case. You try, oh you really try to ignore their mean words that hit you like bricks. You go into the bathroom, to cry alone, to avoid doing it in front of them, but they follow you and wait for you to come out. To just resume what they were doing…

Yes it hurts. You’ll cry yourself to sleep almost every night. You’ll try to lie to your parents and pretend you’re sick so you can skip school. You’ll wish you were sick to avoid school…

“It’s just name calling.” people say. “They’re not touching you.” people say. Yes, that may be true, but it still fucking hurts. It chips at your self-esteem, bit by bit, until you become a shadow of yourself.

I know it’s hard, but ignore them. Try to rise above. Find solace in your world, so you can face them another day. Cry if you must, scream if you must, smile if you can…

Just don’t hide who you are. If you’re smart, be smart. If you’re bookish, be bookish. If you’re a nerd, be one. If you have a crooked smile, keep smiling.

Be strong, rely on your family, rely on friends, don’t shut everyone out. But most of all, rely on yourself. With time, it heals. You won’t forget it, but you can be better because of it. No, in spite of it.

With love,
a Bullied Person
(because you’re / I’m so much more than that)
J*